I know every relationship has its ups and downs, lately in my relationship has been more down than ups. There was a point in my relationship that my girlfriend and I could talk all day with no problems no arguments. Now it seems like we can have a conversation without having any issues. The conversation could be going great, then all of a sudden there an issue. Today she felt that some links I posted from a website on my Facebook page were geared towards her and things we had previously discussed, which wasn the case at all.
I simply posted the links because I liked them, just as I always done and she never questioned as to why I posting them. Totally had nothing to do with us because we never experienced anything like that during our relationship.
The other post was called in the post the blogger writes about how she had a hard time coming to grips with her sexuality and labeling herself a lesbian until she was divorced from her husband so for a while she identified as bi.
She went on to describe the many different she went by during her first few years trying to fit into the LGBTQ community. And for a long time saying she was a lesbian because she was attracted to masculine females. Again nothing about this post in my opinion has nothing to do with my girl or anything going on in our relationship, still, somehow in her mind it does.
I really don know what to do anymore, this has been going on for quite sometime now. She has issues with damn near everything I do or don do lately. Another example is she has an issue with one of my friends, because she likes my posts before my girl does, or comments on a stat first, all things I can control. Sometimes she gets mad if I don comment or have an opinion on something she blogs or posts.
Right now, I not sure what going on, I don know if its one of the many things that can happen in a relationship and I shouldn make a big deal out of it and let it take care of itself. Maybe its deeper and I can see it. I been wrecking my brain for days trying to figure things out and nothing is coming to mind. Now, I frustrated because I don know what the hell is going on. Up until this point we never had any major issues. Now it seems like we can get along for more than a few hours. What am I doing wrong? I need some feed back, so I won feel like I trippin.
My girlfriend finds it weird that I don read lesbian erotica, she always she going to take away my card because I say it corny and doesn turn me on. I read a lot of gay themed books, to me they more interesting plus the drama and sex scenes are awesome. I read books by Terrence Dean, E. The first gay book I read was Invisible Life by E. Lynn Harris and from then on I was hooked, I read that book in one day, I couldn put it down.
I read some lesbian themed books, and they were OK. I just haven found that one book that I couldn put down, some people have suggested I read the Purple Panties series, maybe I take a Ryan Clady Authentic Jersey peek at one of these days.
I tell my girl the only reason she so into these books is because she just coming into life so this still all new to her. Having been out since my teenage years, lesbian erotica doesn do anything for me. What can I learn from these books? I know everything there to know about lesbian sex, reading about it doesn interest me. Maybe if I find a good book, not necessarily erotica,but a good story i change my mind. For now gay books are at the top of my summer reading list.
She doesn really like gay books or man sex I don really remember why. She always says something about that and stuff squirting, while making a face like she grossed out, which I find weird because she dated men all her life. So, I like how can you be grossed out, when you have two kids? To me that weird. Maybe that will be my next search after I done all of my gay themed books.
I know I haven posted in a while, but not much has been going on to sit down and write about. I been busy working and still adjusting from Summer to Fall. Other than that things have been pretty much the same, me and my girl are good, still working on improving ourselves and our relationship. In a few weeks we be spending the weekend together, which we haven done in a long time. She calling it a run for when we actually move in together. I think it will be fine, she somewhat worried because she wants everything to be perfect for the weekend. I be just happy to be spending time together away from my house and other nuisances, so it will be good to be just the two of us, instead of double dating with friends going out somewhere. Plus I tired of going to straight hang outs all the time. The couple that we hang out with, my friend Champ and his girl most of the times well all of time it either movies or dinner somewhere. I don really do clubs, so we don go there often. Champ girl is cool about going to gay venues, he seems to think that he get hit on if he goes to a gay club. Just like he doesn want every woman he sees, doesn mean every gay man wants every man they see. The gay clubs I go to are calm and the people who go there aren disrespectful plus most of them are there with their boyfriends or are in their own little group. So with seeing how he acts I pretty much turn down every invite to straight venues that he wants to attend, unless I really bored and don want to hear my mom nagging. He poor excuse is that he not gay so why would he be at a gay club? I not straight I been to straight clubs. I think it worse when gay people go to straight clubs because you get the stares and comments like the hell they doing here? or don they have their own place? I never been to gay club and heard gay people complain about straight people there unless they were causing trouble and there to spew hate.
I don get why straight people always assume that every gay guy or lesbian will hit on them. Like damn I do have taste! And I stay in my lane, if you not gay and you tell me, then I won approach you. But some idiotic straight people seem to think that being gay or a lesbian automatically means we like all men and all women. You have to be cute and working with something first, just because you have a vagina, doesn mean I want you. I only known straight men to do that. Their thing is if it has a vagina and or nice ass, they hit it. Most gay or lesbian people are a bit pickier unless they whores and there are whores in both genders whether you straight or gay. Anyway I don think he picked up on the fact that I been actively declining his invites to straight social places. And if he does I don really care I been going to places he wants for years, and frankly I don feel like it anymore. Straight clubs are lame, nothing but a bunch of stupid men that want to stare at each other broncosnflofficialproshop.com/Nike-Peyton-Manning-Jersey.html posted on the wall, and then you get the guy that gets jealous because his girl is shaking her ass with another dude. The women do nothing but talk about each other and hate because their dude is checking out another chicks ass or breasts. At least at gay clubs they dance and have fun, there hardly any drama, and if there is they settle it outside the club. You don hear about it on the 11 o news, there no one getting shot or stabbed. Someone might get bitch slapped but that about it.
I have no fun at those places, usually after half an hour I ready to go, I have nothing in common with the people there except they guys, it not my element. I can endure them now a little bit better now that I have a girl, but when you a single lesbian I don want to be at a straight club, that dumb and pointless. I rather be home watching paint dry or grass grow, I not one of those studs or butches that get a kick of trying to turn a chick out. So me and straight clubs are a definite no go, unless a friend is having a birthday party there, other than that I will not be in the middle of a sausage fest. Crazy thing is his birthday is coming up, and since he out the club mode I probably won have to endure anymore boring outings at a straight club. We just going out to eat and have fun somewhere with all of our friends and our girlfriends. No more having to deal with stupid straight guys that want to fight you because they think you want their girl or because their girl is staring at you. Or simply because you a stud or butch and they want to prove that they a man so they want to fight you, maybe it just dumb black men I get that from, because I never had problems with straight white guys. I don get stupid comments like you think you a man so Imma treat you like one Or if I walking down the street in my ball shorts and a tshirt I hear you still a girl underneath those baggy clothes, well damn! Thanks for telling me something I known for 29years of my life and that mother nature reminds me of every month. Anyway that all that I have for today, I try to post a little bit more, but not promising anything.
Well, summer is officially over, it went by so fast but it was the best summer I had since I was a teenager. I met a wonderful woman who I plan to spend the rest of my life with, she makes me very happy and smile. Aside from the occasional disagreements we have things are good. We still adjusting to each others personalities and the way we do things as a whole. For me my adjustments have been learning to talk things out and let her know when something is bothering me. Me having been in the service and dealing with all types of different situations it easier for me to detach my personal feelings and not get too stressed out when things don go my way. I accept it as part of life, a part of life that I can control, so I try to not let my disappointments in life get me down. For her it not as easy but she working on it which is all that matters, I just don want her to let one bad moment take over everything else.
With the end of summer comes the adjustment of not being able to see each other as much, because her boys are back in school and we live on opposite sides of the city. It not easy but we making it work, that another thing that gets her down at times, it gets me down too, I just try not to think about it much because I understand she has to split time between me and the boys. We both wish we could move and get our own place, with the boys involved it not so easy. Which is the part I had to adjust to, because in my other relationships there weren children to consider, which made the decision to live together an easy one. I guess it because in those relationships I never looked too far ahead, everything was taken day by day. There was no extensive planning and having to make too many adjustments, it was an it is what it is thing. Guess that difference between relationships when you young and when you older and suddenly the future matters just a bit more.
Other things that I worry about is what happens when we actually move in? Are we going to be able to deal with each others bad habits? And then there the issue of the boys, of me having to them and me telling them what to do or not to do when we are alone in the house and she at work. I like the odd person out being as though their dad is very much involved in their lives. I guess this is how my step dad felt when he first started dating my mom. Though I really didn care too much about it, my mom did come to me and my brothers and asked us how we felt about it. I was pretty much cool, and so where my brothers. I was 14 and I was more worried about school and the basketball team to care who my mom dated. As long as he wasn a weirdo I didn care, plus I guess the fact that he didn live with us because of his job in New York made a big difference. Anyway, her boys are very young and the oldest doesn seem to like the change that taking place with the family. I don want him to see me as the reason that mommy doesn want to be with daddy and why they can be a family. Hopefully whenever we decide to move in things won be so hard for him.
When I was his age and my parents we separating I took it hard at first, but I quickly realized that just because my parents aren together doesn mean we weren a family. And everyone doesn stay together forever, I didn act out or anything like that, I was just like whatever. Maybe it because I was pretty much a solitary kid anyway, plus the fact that we really didn do much as a family anyway Von Miller Kids Jersey made it easier. In my eyes things really didn change that much, not even when my mom moved us to Philly. Back to this situation, I just want things to go well, they don have to be perfect because nothing in life is. What I want is for us to have a happy relationship and the boys to have a smooth transition as this process takes place and that they know and feel that they don feel that I taken their mom and family away from them. And that we learn to live and deal with each other and most of all that everyone feels loved, that they being heard and treated fairly with respect.
I been gone for a minute, trying to soak up what left of summer before the weather goes downhill. Anyway not much has been going on, the kids are back on campus here at my job, and it already been crazy. Me and my girl have been having a lot of disagreements lately but nothing too bad compared to the last relationship. I been working out here and there but not as consistently as I want, I gotta get focused and stay that way.
On to this blog topic, I was talking to my coworker the other day, and he asked me my opinion about an issue his daughter came to him about. He told me that his daughter and her girl wanted to have a baby, and that her and her girlfriend came to the conclusion of asking a friend they hang with to get them pregnant. I asked him, what did he said? He said that he told her that they should make sure it what they want and that their friend should be willing to agree to give up all parental rights to the child, but he also didn think it was a good idea. Due to the fact they hangout with this guy all the time partying, smoking and drinking. I don know about you but, I not getting pregnant by my homie that I smoke and drink with. Now, I understand that you want to know the person but I think there are better candidates than your party buddy. After he explained what he said he asked me what I thought? I told him he was right in telling her no not to do it. Because, there the potential that it may ruin your relationship and or friendship, second because of the smoking and drinking involved that could cause the child to be born with major health issues. And there always the issue of the guy could refuse to give up his rights.
From a personal stand point I don think I could sit there and watch my girl have sex with a guy, even if it for the purpose of getting pregnant. As a matter of fact I know I wouldn be able to, then for it to be one of my friends that would be doubly weird and awkward. How could I go back to hanging out as if nothing happened? On top of that they both want to get pregnant at the same time, so they both would be sleeping with him at the same time. Besides it being gross, I doubt they know this guys sexual habits outside of their circle. I suggested he tell them go to a sperm bank, at least they screen the donors and it is a clean and safe environment. Or why couldn they Ryan Clady Kids Jersey just get the guy to just donate a sample or samples just for them at a sperm bank? Why do they have to sleep with him? Maybe they think it will increase the chances of getting pregnant. I don know it makes difference whether you do actually have sex with the person in comparison to the procedure at the doctors. Still I would rather go to professionals than proposition my friend. There too much at risk, then in the back of my mind I would always think like did my girl enjoy it? Would she sleep with him behind my back and use the wanting a baby as an excuse? Too much can go wrong in a situation like that,not to mention STD ! I just told him to tell them if the issue was they wanted to know the person that fathered the child they should either find someone and get to know them for a period of time and see how it goes. Or they can go to a sperm bank where the donors agreed to be contacted by the child after he/she becomes a certain age.
But getting pregnant by your friend that you smoke weed and drink with is definitely not the way to go, I see nothing good coming out of that situation, too much can go wrong physically and emotionally for all parties involved. Hopefully they take the advice and find a safer better alternative. So would you ask a friend www.broncosnflofficialproshop.com/Nike-Wes-Welker-Jersey.html to get you or your girl pregnant? Or how would you feel if one of your male friends asked you to be a surrogate?
I was on my daily cruise of my friends Facebook updates and stats when I stumbled across my stud/butch brother status update, it was a pic of a girl I presume she was dealing with . For days now I been seeing these pics of the girl, and reading various stats pertaining to the girl. Today I finally decided to look into the stats and the pic. Turns out the girl broke my J heart, from the notes and stats I read especially the current one, seems like they had an on again off again relationship, and the reason for it being like that is because the chick had a man. Apparently Sha man was very abusive towards her and J was there to pick up the pieces, and somewhere along the line of their friendship a relationship evolved.
I haven talked to J in a while except via Facebook, so I don know the intimate details, but it not hard for me to guess what happened, based on today stat Sha has decided to go back to her man, even though J was probably treating her better and made her happy. Somehow she decided it was best for her and her kid or kids that she stayed with their dad, and there probably was some other factors too. Now J is hurt and posting crazy nude pics of Sha on Facebook. I didn think Facebook allowed such pics to be posted, guess I was wrong. But that not the point, I seen what J is going through too many times, and I went through it myself so I know how she feels right now.
I don knowwhy we do it to ourselves be I talking about studs/butches whatever you call yourself, we always get ourselves involved with these straight, bi, or curious girls only to get hurt at the end, because 99% of the time they go back to men. It took me about 3 times to get that lesson, not a fun one to learn, but then again what lesson is? Most of these women like in Sha case are going through a bad time with their man, or have had a series of bad relationships with men and decided one day they going to date women because men aint St, usually they friends with a butch already so there no chase involved. And 910 we already knew what was going on in their relationship based on the late night need to talk to someone phone calls or you come get me calls. We end up being their shoulder to cry on and probably have developed feelings for them, but kept it to ourselves. Somewhere along the line though the friendship becomes Von Miller Authentic Jersey more like a relationship and before you know it you doing things for them and their kids you otherwise wouldn do.
And that where we go wrong, because we assume that they always going to stay with us because we treat them better than their man, and the sex is great so, there no way she going back to some dude that always beats her, and doesn take care of his kids. That the ego of the butch, we never think that there the possibility that they could jump back to the other side of the fence. We let our guard down and open up only to have it all thrown back in our face often times without a hint or a clue it was going to happen. That exactly what happened to J, Sha was sneaking around with her baby dad all the while J was playing her part, and even when it seemed like J tried to leave she begged, cried and pleaded for J not to leave her. That just selfish right there, and J has every right to be angry, though I wouldn go as far as posting those pics. Hopefully J gets over it and doesn go back to the girl because she always going to get her hea
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